The Fragile Male Ego
by elenathehun
Summary: [Mandalorian Wars oneshot] Atton likes the head mechanic for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that he's so easy to tease. BaoDur likes Atton for the very same reason.


**_VaguelyFamiliar_ asked, and I can only answer… **

_swswswswswswswswswsw_

"You know, sergeant, if you keep making that face, it'll stick like that." Atton Rand didn't think of himself as being particularly immature, but there was just something about the head mechanic that made him want to get under the guy's skin. It might have been because the mechanic was the most lethargic and calm Zabrak he had ever met, or it might have been just the fact that he was really amusing when angry...

Whatever the reason, annoying Sergeant Bao-Dur was incredibly funny.

"Well, Flight Officer, I wouldn't be making this face if it weren't for your shenanigans with my babies," came the terse reply, right on cue. "It is a source of constant speculation among my staff if you even _understand_ the basic mechanics of snubfighters," the Zabrak said dryly. Atton grinned, though; there was a smile on Bao-Dur's face, so it couldn't be that bad.

"Well, if it ain't about fighting, drinking, gambling, or loving, I don't know nothing about it," he bantered.

"Your knowledge of that last one is sort of suspect in my mind..." This was said with a slow wink.

"Hey! I'll have you know that the ladies love me!"

"Oh? That's not what they tell me..."

"Like you would know!"

The tech just grinned suggestively. "More than you, obviously."

Atton thought about that for a minute, then wished he hadn't. "Look, how bad's the damage to my fighter?" he asked quickly.

Bao-Dur just sighed. "Pretty bad, you idiot. Lucky for you I'm so smart, or you'd be out for the next month for sure."

"But?"

"But you'll only be out for a week. I should have you out dogfighting again right before I leave."

"Great!" Atton cheered. "That's fantastic - what? Whaddaya mean, "right before I leave"?

For some reason, the tech looked both embarrassed and proud, which was sort of interesting to see on his hard Iridonian features.

"I've been promoted and reassigned to another fleet, to work on projects more to my liking."

"Does that mean that working with us Gods-Among-Men wasn't your first choice of a job?" Atton said snarkily.

"No, working with you walking egos wasn't my first choice of jobs. I'm actually going back to research and weapon engineering, which is what I did before the war. I hope my talents can help end this war by contributing to the personal energy shield project."

"Like the Mandalorians? Nice..." Atton whistles approvingly. "So what's your new rank? Master Sergeant?"

"Actually, it's Lieutenant."

Flight Officer Rand choked. "You outrank me now?"

The smile the Iridonian gave him was downright _evil_. "That's right."

Atton shook his head and muttered, "No accounting for taste..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing," he said hastily. "Anyway, whose fleet are you transferring to again?"

"Oh, General ---'s fleet."

"No offense, but I would have passed over the promotion if it meant going to that one. She's a walking death trap! Everyone around her dies! She has the highest mortality rate in the fleet!"

Bao-Dur just sighed. "The General is also one of the best commanders in the fleet, and most certainly the most understanding of the need for better weapons. I think I can do a lot of good with her. Besides, it's not like staying with Revan is any safer..."

Atton shrugged at that last bit of sense. "I guess so. Still, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. You going to have a party before leaving?"

The Zabrak grimaced. "Force, I hope not! I hate parties..."

Atton just laughed.

_swswswswswswswswswswswswswsw_

Of course, there was a party in the end. Just like funerals are for the living, goodbye parties are for the people left behind. And if Bao-Dur was honest, he was flattered by the turnout. Most of the pilots had shown up, and all of his staff, and quite a few members of the sensor crew and the engineers, and all the Zabraks able to get off duty.

"Great party!" Atton yelled into Bao-Dur's ear, slinging his arm around the Iridonian's shoulders. "Lotsa people."

The tech just wrinkled his nose at the smell coming off the pilot. "You're sloshed, buddy," he said amusedly. _Humans really can't keep their liquor, can they?_

"Yeah, I know...it's really fun! Want some?" Atton said, holding a glass of something noxious invitingly.

Bao-Dur just shook his head. "That stuff will make you go blind, and then you'll be no use at all," he said reprovingly, then broke out in a grin. "Go get me a cup."

Atton snickered. "Get it for yourself, you Iridonian lump."

The aforesaid Iridonian lump just rolled his eyes and gestured at one of the passing sensor crew. "Hey, Jani! Can you get me some of what he's having?" the Iridonian asked politely.

The girl just looked him up and down. "Sure, anything for you, Sarge," and she winked flirtatiously before walking off to get the poisonous mixture Atton was sipping from.

"She just checked you out, didn't she," Atton said conversationally.

"Uh-huh. She's pretty, for a human," Bao-Dur observed.

Atton just groaned. "She's drop-dead gorgeous, you lump. I can't believe how many women have thrown themselves at you in the last two hours. All that feminine beauty, and it's wasted on you…"

Bao-Dur tried to stifle his laughter. "I think the drink is affecting your eyesight – she wasn't that pretty. And I'll have you know that it's not wasted-"

Atton shuddered. "Don't tell me, please. I still value mylife – I don't want to shoot myself after hearing about your sexual exploits."

Bao-Dur just grinned. "Oh, don't worry. I'm not that much of an exhibitionist. Still," he said, his face taking a pensive cast, "I'd no idea that human females were such sexual deviants."

Atton just choked. The cause of his discomfort whacked him a few times on the back with his hand. "You OK?" he asked concernedly.

"No! I really didn't need that image in my brain! Force, now I'm glad you're leaving – I won't have to deal with this stuff anymore…"

"Try to be more careful – I'm not going to be there to patch your fighter up, remember?" Bao-Dur said, somber.

"Yeah, yeah, I _know_, mother. You're the one I should be worried about; I wasn't kidding when I said everyone dies around General ---."

The Iridonian nodded seriously. "I know, but this is a great opportunity to aid the military with my talents. I have to-"

"Just, be careful, y'know? I want to meet up with you after the war is over. We can compare kill rates and ogle Twi'lek dancing girls together."

"Well, when you put it like that…"

"Exactly! So stay alive, you lump. And where did your drink go?"

"Judging by the way Jani is wobbling toward us, straight to her head…"


End file.
